You're Not Broken. Your System Is.

An Engineer's Guide to Hacking Your Habits.

Let’s get one thing straight: if you’ve ever felt stuck, frustrated, or like you’re constantly fighting your own body on your health journey, you are not alone. And more importantly, you are not broken.

For too long, women especially have been sold a narrative of failure. We get caught in an echo chamber of shared frustrations, convincing ourselves the problem whole sale must be something akin to our thyroid, our genetics, or that we’re just not “enough”. The real societal denial is the idea that we are fundamentally flawed, not that the problem we’re experiencing is largely psychological in nature.

As an R&D engineer, my job was to diagnose, fix complex, and improve airbag safety systems. Now, as a coach, I apply that same mindset to the most complex system of all; the human mind. The truth is, just like a computer is vulnerable to a hacker, our brains are vulnerable to subliminal subconscious faulty programming. But the good news is, we can become the benevolent hacker, infiltrate our own minds, and systematically upgrade the poor patterns that hold us back.

The fix isn't another juice cleanse, fad diet, or a magic supplement. It’s understanding the simple (not easy) principles of how your brain actually works.

The Big Lie: "Just Try Harder"

The first mistake we make is thinking that willpower and discipline are the engine. They’re not. They are the emergency fuel, the little tank of nitrous you use to bridge the gap when things get tough. As author Charles Duhigg explains, willpower is a muscle; it gets stronger with use, but it also gets tired very quickly. If you rely on it as your primary driver for change, you will burn out and quit. It’s a recipe for failure.

Real, sustainable change comes from building a better system that doesn't require you to white-knuckle your way through every day.

The Truth About Motivation: An Engineer's Hierarchy of Action

So if willpower isn't the engine, what is? Getting things done isn't about one single feeling; it's a sequence of operations. Using the right tool at the right time is critical.

Inspiration (The Spark): This is the initial, short-lived jolt that gets you started. It’s seeing a post online or watching a movie that makes you say, “I want that.” Its role is to be the essential kick in the ass to get you off the starting line, but it's cheap, plentiful, and fades almost instantly. You cannot rely on it to sustain you.

Motivation (The Goal): This is the goal-driven desire to do something. It provides the direction for your efforts. But the goal must be specific and concrete. "Get in shape" is an inspiration; "Lose 10 lbs by March" is a motivation you can run towards.

Intention (The Plan): This is the bridge between what you want and what you get. It’s having a concrete plan and putting your pride on the line to execute it. This is where the mental exercise becomes real action, breaking the goal into daily, repeatable steps.

Discipline (The Emergency Fuel): This is the force you use to bridge the gap when your motivation inevitably dips below what's required. It's the emergency battery you use to do the thing anyway, regardless of how you feel. But remember, it's a finite resource. Use it sparingly.

The System Upgrade: Understanding Your Brain's Software

Every habit you have, good or bad, runs on a simple, three-part software loop that’s hardwired into your brain. To change the output, you have to understand the code.

The Habit Loop

1. The Cue: This is the trigger that launches the program. It could be a time of day, a location, an emotion, or a preceding action.

2. The Routine: This is the action itself, the behavior you perform.

3. The Reward: This is the hit of satisfaction that tells your brain, “Hey, this loop worked. Save this program for later”.

You can’t just delete an old program. The neural pathway exists. But you can rewrite it.

The Two Playbooks for Benevolent Hacking

Depending on your goal, you need a different strategy.

Habit Rebuild: Status Quo Vs. Actionable Momentum Building Solution

Playbook A: Changing a Bad Habit (e.g., Mindless Snacking)

The golden rule is to keep the old cue and reward, but insert a new routine.

Step 1: Diagnose the Loop.

When you reach for junk food at 3 PM, what’s the cue? (Boredom? Stress?). What’s the real reward you’re craving? (Distraction? A sugar hit? A break from work?) .

Step 2: Install the New Routine.

Design a new behavior that serves the same cue and delivers a similar reward. If the reward you crave is a distraction, your new routine could be a five-minute walk or a quick chat with a coworker.

Playbook B: Building a Good Habit (e.g., Consistent Workouts)

Step 1: Stack Your Cues.

Don’t rely on a single trigger. Make the new habit obvious. Lay out your gym clothes the night before, schedule it with a friend, and set an alarm for a specific time.

Step 2: Start Ridiculously Small.

This is the “science of small wins”. Your initial goal is not a killer workout; your goal is to simply show up. As Peter Attia advises, start with just 15 minutes. The win is getting on the bike, not hitting a certain heart rate. This builds the habit without draining your willpower.

Step 3: Reward Yourself Immediately.

Your brain values a small, immediate reward far more than a distant, long-term benefit. After your workout, have a smoothie you love, watch an episode of a show you only allow yourself to watch post-workout, or simply take a moment to acknowledge the feeling of accomplishment. As researcher Katie Milkman found, linking a reward like a favorite podcast or audiobook directly to the activity can completely transform your attitude towards it.

Core Principles for a System That Lasts

As you build your new system, keep these foundational principles in mind.

Control Your Environment. The easiest win in habit change is to remove negative cues. You only have to exert willpower for one hour at the grocery store to make the other 167 hours of the week easier.

Failure is Data, Not a Moral Lapse. You will have setbacks. Instead of beating yourself up (a negative reinforcement that ironically encourages quitting), get curious like a scientist. What was the cue that caused the slip? What did you learn? Create a better plan for next time. As researcher James Prochaska found, it takes an average of seven attempts for a smoker to finally quit, with each "failure" being a critical learning opportunity.

Praise Effort, Not Talent. This concept, popularized by Stanford’s Carol Dweck, is crucial. Reinforce what you can control (your effort, your consistency) rather than what you can’t (your genetics, being "smart"). This builds a true sense of agency and the belief that you have the power to change.

Develop a "Rest Ethic." You can’t be "on" all the time. Just as you can overtrain in the gym, you can deplete your willpower by never unplugging. Prioritize genuine rest to ensure you have the capacity to be disciplined when it counts.

You are not broken. You are a complex, powerful system that just needs the right software. By understanding these principles, you can stop fighting yourself and start engineering the change you want to see.

Additional Resources On ‘Hacking’ Your Brain For Your Healthspan

The Peter Attia Drive Podcast:
How to change your habits: why they form and how to build or break them. - Charles Duhigg

Chris Williamson’s Modern Wisdom Podcast:
Exercise Scientist’s Masterclass On Motivation, Habits & Discipline - Dr Mike Israetel